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Dealing with Acne

My Day-to-day Struggle with My Biggest Insecurity...

Along with tons of other teenagers, I struggle with acne. It didn't start until I was around 14 or 15 years old. With each passing year, my skin got worse and worse. It became a crippling insecurity of mine; it got so bad to where I would lock myself in my room and not want to see my own family. I was so afraid of criticism and stares I would get, even though I would preach about not caring what people thought of me. I was a major hypocrite then, and to be honest I still am. I go on about loving yourself and not being ashamed of things you have no control over, yet I catch myself drowning in shame almost every day. It’s a very hard thing to live with, worrying every single day if I’m going to break out or not. With acne, there are no warning signs, nothing that will prepare you for the breakouts, it just gets thrown at you and you have to deal with it. I especially have an issue with acne specifically because I can’t control it.

I do truly admire all of the people who remain confident with troubled skin and don’t let it control them. I see all these before and after photos of people starting acne medication and I honestly am so inspired by those posts. I wish I could be like those people. I wish I could be so brave to share my photos and my journey struggling with acne. Having acne has completely diminished any confidence I once had. I’m not going to dramatize things and say my skin is horrible 24/7. It is clear every once in a while and I am so incredibly grateful for that. A lot of people don’t know this about me but whenever I’m lucky enough to have clear skin, I take advantage of it. I do my makeup, go out with friends, and take tons of selfies. In those moments, I feel confident, but a lot of my peers think I’m just some conceited girl. I get why some would view me as full of myself, but like I said, I take advantage of my clear skin because it is so rare. I take all these selfies and post a ton because I know that confidence is only temporary, I know that as soon as I breakout again, I’m not going to want to show my face to anyone.

It’s very difficult to talk about having problematic skin, especially to someone who doesn’t struggle with it as well. They say, “Get over it.” “It doesn’t matter.” “It’s not a big deal.” Or there are those people that point it out, “What’s on your face?” “That’s so gross” “You really should change your diet.” “Don’t you wash your face?” Yes, these are all conversations I’ve had with people. You could have the best diet, the healthiest lifestyle, zero stress, and still get acne. You don’t get to choose your skin type. I would if I could, but sadly it doesn’t work that way. So instead of bringing someone down for something they have absolutely zero power over, how about you raise them up, and help them love themselves no matter what.

Believe it or not, I don’t really like putting myself out there and being vulnerable. I do it so people can read my articles and have someone to relate to, because you are not alone in anything. I can’t save the world, I can’t make everything go away, but I can be a friend. I can be that person that will understand your hardships and be there to help you through them. I know what it’s like to feel alone and it hurts like hell. You shouldn’t have to go through that.

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