I Tried a Placenta Hair Mask and Here's What Happened

Picture this:

You're at Walmart and it's 10 PM. You're tired, looking for something to drink because you've been running around Orlando for the entirety of the day. Still, you manage to find your way to the beauty section of the superstore and while browsing the aisles you stumble upon... this.

A hair mask that combines henna and... placenta.

And it's only $1.50.

Yes, actual PLACENTA. (Upon further research, it is cow placenta. Not human. Just as weird, though.)

Narrative aside, I saw this product and burst out laughing. As someone who was born and raised on the internet, I've read all about the beauty gurus that have tried some "out of the box" (to say the least) beauty treatments, and I was surprised how many of them often included things like human blood, sperm cells, bird poop, and even... placenta.

All the same, I was curious as to how this product would actually soften my hair. My hair has naturally very thick, wavy texture. My roots are virgin, but the ends of my hair are lightened from a past ombre. While I let these blonde strands grow out (my plan is to let my hair get long enough where I can just cut them off and have the entirety of my natural hair color back) I have been trying to find ways to keep them healthy and manageable, free of frizz.

Needless to say, I bought it and at exactly 11:42 PM, I found myself applying it to my hair.

To start, I took a picture of the ends of my hair prior to using the mask.

A little frizzy, a little damage, overall not too bad to start.

The mask instructions say to wash your hair first and then towel dry it. After it is towel dry, apply the mask all over your hair and full saturate it evenly throughout your hair, and then finish by putting on a shower cap and applying some heat, or wrapping it up in a towel to "soak" for 10 minutes.

I followed the directions and pealed the top off of the mask packet. The smell was actually quite pleasant and it had the texture of a creamy conditioner. I was actually surprising a much more um... Bodily, earthy smell, given the placenta and henna ingredients, but it actually just smelled like fresh, clean soap.

Not gonna lie, the color is a little weird.

I applied the mask to my hair and began the waiting process. Because I'm not cool enough for a shower cap, I used the towel method and set the timer on my phone for 10 minutes while I waited for the mask to process.

As my timer was going, I wondered what had led humans to the point where we decided to put placenta in our hair. How did we get here? Who hurt humanity in the way that we desired to extract placenta from other animals to put it in our hair? Why had we decided that this was the best course of action? Who are we? Who am I?

Alas, before I had an answer, my timer was up.

I unwrapped my towel and put my hair underneath the shower water and rinsed all of the product out with cold water, working it through all of my hair until it was completely out. At this point, it was long past midnight, so after my hair was manageably dry, I laid down and went to bed.

The next morning, I woke up and brushed my hair through and I will say, it felt noticeably softer. I wouldn't say it was anything particularly awe inspiring, more like if you did a deep conditioner treatment with your typical conditioner and left it on for a bit longer. I'd say that I get the amount of softness from using argan oil on my hair each night before bed.

I will say that my hair does feel a lot stronger than it did before I used the mask, probably because it was like I had just given it a major protein shake.

Overall, if you have $1.50 and want to spend it on a mask that has a placenta in it, go for it. However, if you have a $1.50 and want to spend it on a pack of gum or a candy bar (what even costs a $1.50 these days besides placenta hair masks?) you can do that just as easily.

Maybe the results would have been more crazy if I had used the heat and shower cap method, but I would say that it does make your hair quite strong, which is nice, but I definitely think with this one, the whole point is probably the shock value.