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The Story About My Acne

Makeup was a solution.

I was laying in bed on a Saturday morning, as I stretched my legs to the edge of the bed. I slowly propped myself up into a sitting position and I was startled to see my reflection in the mirror that was hanging on the wall facing towards me. My face had a completely different texture, from the last time I had seen myself. “Since when did my face get this terrible?” I wondered as I stroked the numerous inflamed red bumps that formed on the surface of my skin. The sides of my cheeks, my forehead, and my nose were completely covered in acne. I quickly looked away from the mirror in disgust and I made my way towards the bathroom. I begin washing my hands, trying to avoid thinking about the condition of my face; however, the bathroom mirror never lies. This time, I was much closer to my reflection and my acne was ten times more visible and more apparent. I looked away from the mirror again. I did not want to see myself anymore, nor did I want anyone else to see me.

As I reminisce about my elementary and early high school years, the condition of my face significantly changed. To this day, I always wondered the cause of the sudden outbreak of tiny red specks on my face. The face that presents itself to the hundreds of students roaming the hallways, the multiple teachers I face day to day, and the face that makes other faces stare back. In my head, I listed several causes that would have had the possibility of breaking me out. The first cause could have been my facial wash routine and if my face was or was not being properly cleaned. However, I truly felt that the cause of my acne was due to something I would have never suspected. It was the makeup I applied to my face regularly. Or to be more precise – the tools I used to apply the makeup.

My sister is a makeup fanatic, had collections and bundles of makeup products. The products she owns is well known in the makeup world from brands ranging from MAC, Sephora, Estee Lauder, NARS, Anastasia Beverly Hills, to Kat Von-D. As I observe my sister applying makeup with finesse, she eventually tempted me into wearing makeup. Day to day I would find myself piling more and more layers onto my skin, testing out how different facial foundations and powders would fit onto my skin. I would start by stroking product onto my face with the brushes and tools my sister would leave on the table. The bristles would brush against my rough and bumpy skin and I was always amazed at how much it was able to minimize the flaws I wanted to cover. Although the foundation was not great at concealing the discoloration and pigmentation that my acne left, it was able to greatly reduce the look of the inflamed areas.

But deep down I knew. I knew myself under all the makeup. While it did provide the coverage I needed, it felt like I was wearing a mask I was afraid of taking off no matter how much I wanted to. Truthfully, I was afraid and it was slowly eating away at my confidence because I did not feel like myself nor did I want to be myself any longer. I was just so repulsed by the state of my skin. Yet, it was during this state of crisis that I was able to find myself again. That I realized I have been treating myself badly until I deprived my own being of self-love.

I gradually learned how to take care of my body properly; it took time for me to feel confident in my own skin. It was the first in a long time to walk outside the house without makeup on. I felt refreshed as if my face was able to breathe the cool breeze outside the house. It was difficult at first but in the end, I made through it. As time passes, I became comfortable in my own skin and I learn not to care what other people think about me. To prevent my acne from spreading I had to change my facial routine and stop sharing makeup brushes. I realized at the end of the day, it is you yourself that is in charge of your own body and people must respect you because this is all you could be, and that is enough.

I’m left with scars and keloids on my forehead and cheeks which reminds me of my incident. However, I am not ashamed of the past because I have learned to self- love, to feel confident and to be myself. It does not matter if you have acne or not because the majority of teenagers goes through this stage due to other reasons such as stress, genetics, and hygiene. I realize I am not the only teenager that is suffering from acne and there are other adolescents out there battling their acne. I am in recovery, I no longer use makeup and I do not care what other people think about me.

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The Story About My Acne
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